Being single again after 40 and going through the dating process all over again can be both daunting and frustrating. However, you’re far from being the only one in this situation. Luckily, there are plenty of other singles out there, just like you. So, if you’re ready to say goodbye to singlehood, read on to discover 7 easy steps to get back into the dating game after 40.
1 Take the time to recover
There are so many people that throw themselves into a new relationship before they’re ready. Before moving on however, you must first learn to let go of your past relationships. If you’ve gone through a divorce, a heart-breaking separation, or you’ve lost your spouse, it’s normal to need some time to recover.
Although we all react in different ways, starting a new relationship too soon could end up causing more harm than good. Make sure that you’re emotionally ready to date again. If you’re constantly thinking about your ex and feeling angry, hurt or sad, then you might need to wait a little longer.
2 Treat yourself like a queen
This will help you to regain the confidence that you might have lost after your divorce/separation/loss of your spouse. Feeling good about yourself, as well as feeling strong and self-confident, will considerably improve your chances of finding someone that’s worth your time and effort.
So, what does treating yourself like a queen involve? It means doing things that you love, taking time for yourself, treating yourself to some new clothes, taking care of your skin and hair, eating your favourite cake, exercising, enjoying some white wine with your friends, etc.
Of course, when you work, have kids and have to deal with all of life’s other little stresses as well, it’s hard to make time for yourself. However, it’s essential that you create free time, especially if you’re planning to date!
But it’s not only about pampering yourself. Treating yourself like a queen also means knowing that you deserve the best from a relationship. In fact, the most important relationship that you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. With that in mind, don’t settle for the first person that seems nice just because you don’t want to be on your own anymore. Take the time to find someone respectful and perfect for you.
3 Give dating websites a try
Today, almost everyone is using (or has used at least once) a dating website. So, why not give it a go yourself? It’s so easy and you can find plenty of interesting matches with just a few clicks! However, in order to maximise your chances of finding the right person for you, it’s best to register with a website that corresponds most closely to your criteria and expectations.
For instance, if you’re looking to date single parents, you could register with a site exclusively dedicated to solo parents looking for a relationship. If instead you’re wondering “where can I find a single senior dating near me?”, you’ll be better off signing up with a 40+ dating site.
4 Be honest with yourself… and with your dates
You’re a divorcee with two kids? Don’t hide it! Likewise, it’s the same if you’re a widow, or if you’ve never been in a long-term relationship.
Perhaps you don’t really feel anything for the person you’re seeing but keep meeting up with them anyway (because you need a distraction or are just tired of being on your own)? Although in the end, only you can decide what to do with your life, maybe it would be best to be honest with yourself and realise that you’re wasting your time with someone you don’t really appreciate that much. On top of that, stringing them along just isn’t very fair, right?
5 Being proactive and open is your guiding principle
Staying home watching TV every day won’t help you find love. It’s a no-brainer, but if you want to find someone interesting, you’ll have to be proactive and leave the house. Join the gym, go to a book club, pottery class or a choir, anything that will help you meet new people. It’s up to you.
On top of that, don’t hesitate to spark up a conversation with strangers, or to contact your friends and get yourself invited to their parties. In short, saying yes to opportunities and putting yourself out there will obviously improve your chances of finding love.
6 Enjoy and have fun
In the end, maybe the most important rule in dating is to have fun. Your date doesn’t seem compatible? Fine, but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying a fun evening out. They might be amusing and have interesting things to say. Dating is an opportunity to go out and have fun, dress up, meet new people, discover new things, go to the restaurant or have a nice glass of anything you fancy.
If finally, they turn out to be really boring or the exact opposite of what you’re looking for, so what? Besides, you can transform this lousy experience into a great anecdote next time you see your friends!
7 Don’t lose hope
Whether you’ve already seen several people or you haven’t even started to date yet, long-term singlehood can seem like a daunting and lonely prospect (even though there are lots of advantages to being single!).
However, don’t lose hope. It’s okay not to meet Mr or Mrs Right straight away. It’s also okay that it takes a while because, in the end, you’ll find the right person. So, continue what you’re doing, whether this is online dating, going to the book club or joining events and activities organised for singles. Just be patient – it will happen!